Deciding to begin counselling can feel surprisingly difficult.

For many people, the hardest part isn't attending the first session — it's making the decision to contact someone in the first place.

You may have been thinking about counselling for weeks, months, or even years. Perhaps something specific has happened: a bereavement, relationship breakdown, stressful period at work, family difficulties or a significant life change. Or perhaps there isn't one obvious reason at all. You may simply have reached a point where things don't feel quite right anymore.

Whatever has brought you here, you don't need to have everything figured out before you begin.

“Is what I'm going through serious enough?”

This is something many people wonder.

We can become very good at minimising our own difficulties, particularly when we know that other people are struggling too. We tell ourselves that we should be coping, that other people have it worse, or that perhaps we just need to pull ourselves together and get on with things.

Counselling isn't reserved for moments of crisis.

People come to therapy for all sorts of reasons: anxiety, depression, grief, relationship difficulties, divorce or separation, caring responsibilities, low self-esteem, loneliness, parenting, work pressures, past experiences, feeling overwhelmed, or simply because they have noticed patterns in their lives that they would like to understand better.

Sometimes people come because they can't quite explain what is wrong — they just know that something needs to change.

That is enough.

Feeling nervous about the first session is completely normal

Sitting down with somebody you don't know and talking about yourself can feel strange at first.

You might worry about what you're supposed to say, whether there will be uncomfortable silences, whether you'll become emotional, or whether you'll be judged.

There is no right way to 'do' counselling.

You don't need to arrive with a perfectly organised story. You don't need to know exactly what you want to work on. And you certainly don't need to disclose everything about yourself in the first session.

The therapeutic relationship develops gradually.

My role is to meet you where you are, at a pace that feels manageable, and to begin understanding what life feels like from your perspective.

What actually happens in counselling?

The first few sessions are often about getting to know one another.

We might talk about what has brought you to counselling, what is happening in your life now, important experiences from your past and what you would like to be different.

As our work develops, we may begin noticing patterns.

Perhaps you repeatedly find yourself taking responsibility for everybody else. Maybe certain relationships leave you feeling anxious or rejected. Perhaps you struggle to set boundaries, find yourself constantly overthinking, or notice that situations in the present can trigger surprisingly powerful emotions.

Counselling gives us the space to become curious about those patterns rather than simply judging them.

Understanding why we respond in certain ways can be an important part of beginning to respond differently.

Counselling is an investment

Therapy is undoubtedly a financial commitment, and I think it is important to acknowledge that rather than pretend otherwise.

But it is also a very particular kind of investment: protected time devoted entirely to you.

For 50 minutes, there is no expectation that you care for somebody else, solve somebody else's problem, perform, achieve, organise or hold everything together.

It is a space in which your experiences can be explored properly.

The effects of that work can extend far beyond the therapy room — into our relationships, the boundaries we set, the way we parent, the choices we make and, perhaps most importantly, the relationship we have with ourselves.

You don't have to know where it will lead

Beginning counselling doesn't mean committing to becoming an entirely different person.

Often, therapy is less about changing who we are and more about understanding ourselves more deeply — recognising what we have learned, what we have carried, what still serves us and what we may be ready to leave behind.

You don't need to know exactly where you want therapy to take you.

You only need somewhere to begin.

If you are considering counselling and would like to find out whether working together might feel right for you, you are welcome to get in touch for an informal and confidential initial conversation.

22/08/2026

Lorraine Willis
Willis Wells Therapy